My Morning Routine

Sleeping Irish Terrier

I am weirdly fascinated by other people’s morning routines. Oprah always asks her Super Soul Sunday guests about their routines, there is a Wake Up Call series about it on Sous Style, and there is an entire website dedicated to it. I guess I’m not alone in my obsession. I think maybe it’s because I can’t get my shit together enough to have a real morning routine of my own. All of those people have these amazing daily yoga practices and fancy coffees and gourmet breakfasts. My morning goes something like this:

6:30AM iPhone alarm goes off with an annoying ringtone, tap to snooze.

6:39AM Tap to snooze.

6:48AM Tap to snooze.

6:57AM Tap to snooze, check facebook, hate myself for checking facebook instead of meditating, panic because it’s really time to get up but still don’t get up.

7:06AM Sit up in bed, groan about how work is stupid, talk to Bryce about what we would rather be doing (which is pretty much anything), make bed while still lying in said bed.

7:08AM Throw clothes on my body, realize clothes are wrinkly, throw different clothes on my body, Bea steals underwear, chase Bea.

7:11AM Pee, brush teeth while packing lunch, put on makeup, say goodbye to Bryce.

7:32AM Take Bea for (her second) walk, pick up her poop.

7:40AM Fill a kong with Bea’s breakfast & peanut butter, turn on NPR for her, tuck her into her little house, head outside. {ANYONE NOTICE THAT BEA HAS THE MOST LUXURIOUS MORNING OF ALL OF US?! Typical.}

7:45AM Drive to work for approximately 1,000 hours.

When I arrive at work 1 million years later, I’m hungry, grumpy and wrinkly. Why do I do this to myself? When I look back on my mornings, those 4 snoozes never seem worth it, but when I’m snuggled in bed it’s just too good to leave. Help me. How do I become one of those super human morning people?!


2 thoughts on “My Morning Routine

  1. Kyle

    5:45AM First iPhone alarm goes off with an annoying ringtone (I have not once gotten up at this time).

    6:00AM Second iPhone alarm goes off with same annoying ringtone, tap to snooze.

    6:09AM Tap to snooze.

    6:18AM Force myself to lean up so that I don’t fall back asleep (as I already know I will not get to work at the time I would like to and will be inexcusably late if I don’t get up NOW) and groan as I think about how much I can’t wait until the weekend.

    6:20AM Look at the time and wonder what the hell just happened to a whole two minutes.

    6:21AM Brush teeth, shave, shower, etc.

    7:00AM Say to myself, “crap, I’m NEVER out the door by 7am like I want to be.” Get dressed, make sure I have my keys, wallet, work key card, etc.

    7:10AM Finally put on my shoes, think about how if I would just leave 10 to 15 minutes sooner I could avoid traffic. Head out the door.

    7:50AM Arrive at work hungry because I didn’t eat breakfast. If I have a lunch, I grab it thankful that I have a lovely girlfriend. If I don’t have a lunch, I wonder why I don’t just make one the night before… but I probably never will.

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