Heart Sick

Wedding Ceremony | Affichomanie Blog

Yesterday we received all of the raw footage from our wedding so I stayed up late crying like a baby in the glow of my laptop. Bryce told me it wasn’t good to cry alone under a blanket so he peeked his head in while I continued watching and he attempted to sleep.

The videos were beautiful and I am beyond thankful to have them, but watching it all just made me feel so…sad. I’m incredibly heart sick. Apparently the post-wedding depression took nearly 11 months to set in.

At one point in a video our photographer asked me if it felt real yet. I said I didn’t think it would feel real until after it was all over. I was right. Well, I didn’t quite mean until it had been over for almost a year, but that day was such a blur so I had no time to let it set in. The videos brought it all back and slowed it down for me. Made me realize life goes by so so so so so fast.

Whatever your opinion of a traditional wedding is, that’s cool man. Sometimes I wonder why the hell we had one. Regardless, a wedding is a huge milestone with a bunch of mini milestones mixed in. All of those moments you think about for so long leading up to the day. Exchanging your vows, dancing with your dad, crying over your best friend’s sweet words — it all happens so fast. The blink of an eye, like anything in life. But those are huge moments that every second ticking on the clock takes me further away from. And watching those videos made the ache of passing time so tangible.

 

Damn, I’m getting sentimental in my old age. I suppose my family & friends (especially my husband) made my heart grow three sizes that day.

XO,

The Grinch

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The Little Bea

sorry out to live

Well, Affichomanie has been a bit quiet lately. In case you didn’t know (which seems unlikely since only like 3 people read this blog and they are my mom, my mom, and a spambot), Bryce and I welcomed a beautiful little Irish Terrier named Beatrix (Bea for short) into our home about two months ago. She has brought so much joy into our lives. I barely remember what it was like not to have that little snuggle bug in our family. Life has felt like a really lovely little dream lately. It’s been a bit easier to let the bad things roll off my back. And by bad things I mean, constantly being covered in dog pee and having no money from buying her ALL THE THINGS.

Bea 4

Despite working a full time job, this is the first Summer I’ve had since I was a kid that I really feel I’m taking the time to enjoy and to relax. Maybe having Beatrix has made me slow down, be more patient, and take time to appreciate the now. Also, not having a wedding to plan helps. What a time suck.

I sip weekends slowly and enjoy them to the last drop. South Shore Farmer’s Market is a new weekly requirement. Beatrix gets to play with all the dogs & children while we enjoy breakfast then load up on vibrant produce and freshly baked bread. HINT: If you have a new puppy or baby, Wildflour Bakery gives you a free loaf of bread! Whaaaattt?!? It’s awesome.

When the market must be skipped (last weekend it was replaced by a rainy festival and Bea was a bit lethargic from vaccines early that morning anyway) we find other ways to enjoy our time outside with the little red girl. Humboldt Park Beer Garden with friends the next day was a perfect replacement for our lack of outdoor time. We spent the whole afternoon tasting St. Francis Brewery beers, talking about all things serious and silly, and being entertained by crazy Bea and her new friend Jackson. I even managed to avoid a sunburn. Win!

Bea 3

Bea 2

Bea 1

I read something recently that said, “Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about your joys.” Not sure who said it, but I’m totally on board with that plan. It’s what I want Affichomanie to be, documentation of my joys. It’s the whole reason I created this blog, I needed to remind myself of everything that makes me happy. I’m getting back to it!