Yesterday we received all of the raw footage from our wedding so I stayed up late crying like a baby in the glow of my laptop. Bryce told me it wasn’t good to cry alone under a blanket so he peeked his head in while I continued watching and he attempted to sleep.
The videos were beautiful and I am beyond thankful to have them, but watching it all just made me feel so…sad. I’m incredibly heart sick. Apparently the post-wedding depression took nearly 11 months to set in.
At one point in a video our photographer asked me if it felt real yet. I said I didn’t think it would feel real until after it was all over. I was right. Well, I didn’t quite mean until it had been over for almost a year, but that day was such a blur so I had no time to let it set in. The videos brought it all back and slowed it down for me. Made me realize life goes by so so so so so fast.
Whatever your opinion of a traditional wedding is, that’s cool man. Sometimes I wonder why the hell we had one. Regardless, a wedding is a huge milestone with a bunch of mini milestones mixed in. All of those moments you think about for so long leading up to the day. Exchanging your vows, dancing with your dad, crying over your best friend’s sweet words — it all happens so fast. The blink of an eye, like anything in life. But those are huge moments that every second ticking on the clock takes me further away from. And watching those videos made the ache of passing time so tangible.
Damn, I’m getting sentimental in my old age. I suppose my family & friends (especially my husband) made my heart grow three sizes that day.